do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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