Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
