Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The beer is more important than you right now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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