What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
