So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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