Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
