she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
