My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
