The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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