What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I need help removing her.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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