he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
