i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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