I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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