I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
