had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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