Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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