i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
