im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
