Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
