Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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