You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
