So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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