I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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