I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize