the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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