You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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