I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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