She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
