Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
