better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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