Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
