Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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