Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
