i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Randomize
