i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
