Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
