I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
