I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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