I'm really into asian looking animals
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I will be naked everywhere
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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