The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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