Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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