Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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