I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
