i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I forget how to act sober
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
