I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
