we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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