he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize