my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
