I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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