My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
