their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
