No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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