State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
