Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
