Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
