the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
