it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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