did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
