yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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